Rob Marshall, Ranked
From Dancing in “Cats,” to Winning Best Picture, to Being Disney’s Go-To Director
Welcome to Ranked, where I give a surely controversial ranking of a series of films, whose reviews aren’t long enough to warrant separate posts, so I group them all together here.
Today we’re talking about one of my most cursed director ranks, controversial, but successful filmmaker, Rob Marshall.
And note, Marshall has a relatively long career, so this will be a large post, too large to fit in one email, according to Substack. I thought about splitting it up, but who would want that? As always, you can find the full post on the actual website.
#8:
How can a film be so exhausting when virtually nothing happens on screen? And my god, how is this film about as fun as a mallet to the kneecaps with this cast? This was truly one of the more unpleasant movies I’ve seen in a while. Also, the directorial stylings of Rob Marshal really make you appreciate Tim Burton, don’t they?
1/5 Stars
⭐️
#7:
I don’t know where I was when we went to the theaters and watched this, but I do remember we were on some sort of vacation. We happened to be near a theater, and picked this film to see, because it was supposed to be a reboot, and it was in 3D which my dad liked.
However, this movie ended up not really being a reboot, because it only had a different director, and a somewhat different cast. Other than that, Johnny Depp is still here, the writers were the same, and everybody’s exhaustion with the material was palpable by this point. Also, this movie almost entirely takes place at night, which is the enemy of 3D. So it was just a bad experience all around at the movies that day.
Alas, my opinion has not changed. This is a tired, boring, lifeless, sorry excuse for a film. Stranger Tides? More like Jack Sparrow and The Search For More Money.
1/5 Stars
⭐️
Currently Ranked:
#10/#11 in “Film Adaptations of Disney Attractions, Ranked”
#6:
On March 22nd of 2020, I tweeted the following:
“I don’t know whether it says more about me or the Quarantine that I’m working on a Rob Marshall film ranking.”
Well, Quarantine is kind of still going, so today with this film, I have officially watched every film by Rob Marshall. A man who started off dancing in “Cats,” to rising up in the theater world, to directing a successful TV movie, to being nominated for Best Director and winning Best Picture with his debut feature film, to his fall, rise of directing one of the highest grossing forgettable films of all time, to being Disney’s go-to guy that was entrusted with making the “Mary Poppins” sequel, and will now make “The Little Mermaid” live-action adaption.
So where does this film fit? Well, after “Chicago,” Rob Marshall decided he wanted to be pigeonholed as an Oscar bait Director, than simply a director of musicals, so he made this. This was apparently well-liked book, that Steven Spielberg thought about making himself after “Saving Private Ryan,” but was cautioned against because movie was "not good enough for him.”
And so several years after that, here is Marshall taking Spielberg’s scraps. But in an early sign that Spielberg had Weinstein-esque abilities to give anything he touches undue Oscar success, this not only was nominated for several awards, but won Best Cinematography! This has “This Had Oscar Buzz” all over it, but it beat Ang Lee’s gorgeous “Brokeback Mountain,” and Terrence fucking Malick’s “The New World” for Cinematography. How insane is that?
But anyways, while Spielberg forced this film into the Oscar race, I don’t think the movie holds up at all, if it ever did in the first place. This should have been directed by an Asian director, probably should have been mostly spoken in Japanese, and oh yeah, maybe not have Chinese actors playing Japanese people.
In Rob Marshall’s hands, it’s the first sign that maybe when he isn’t choreographing a lavish musical, he kind of makes all his movies cinematic sleeping pills, which this most certainly is. I don’t know how this material could be interesting in anybody’s hands, but as is, the film is a one-way ticket to snoozetown.
By the way, while this was somehow a financial success, I think the awards bait desperation of it all sent Marshall back into the arms of a musical with “Nine,” which ended up being his only box office bomb.
1.5/5 Stars
⭐️✨
#5:
I don’t know whether it says more about me, or the Quarantine, that I’m working on a Rob Marshall film ranking.
I’ve never seen “Chicago,” the film that’s the reason he has a career, but I think this film proves Rob Marshall knows how to stage a musical well. I’ve never seen, nor heard any of the original musical, but I really like the look of this film, from the camera angles, to the zooms, to the use of black and white. It’s kind of an enjoyable movie!
Problem is, I think Marshall is just adapting bad material with no memorable songs. It’s true of “Into the Woods,” it’s true of “Mary Poppins Returns,” and it’s true of this. Granted, he doesn’t really elevate the bad material into something better, but I honestly don’t know how you make any of these films good.
Not every musical needs to be adapted into a movie. Much less one that feels this much like its main character, in that they’re both searching for a reason to exist. If the film reaches any sort of conclusion, it’s that art is the translation of fantasy into reality. But in execution, this musical, and therefore this film, don’t make that case very well. Presented well, but hollow inside.
Is that the fault of the material, or Marshall? I say the material, but either might be a valid answer.
2.5/5 Stars
⭐️⭐️✨
#4:
I haven’t seen the original “Mary Poppins” yet, so take my thoughts with a grain of salt, but this was fine. I liked it when they had elaborate musical numbers, especially when Lin-Manual Miranda was involved.
But I really hated whenever the film tried to have a plot, with asshole “Paddington” yelling at his kids, and Colin Firth being evil for... reasons. It’s not too bad, but it really dampens the light-hearted nature of the music. You would think given how many years they had to work on this sequel, when the original is so beloved, that this film would turn out better, but alas we must settle.
Side Note: Watching the film, it’s absolutely baffling Disney thought this would be a big enough hit to justify rushing ‘Solo’ out to die in the summer, and giving the Christmas slot to this. This film predictably underperformed in a marketplace with films like “Aquaman” and “Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse.” I’m sure Warner Brothers is eternally grateful, but I don’t know what the fuck Disney was thinking here.
2.5/5 Stars
⭐️⭐️✨
#3:
Although most people primarily know Rob Marshall from his debut as a feature filmmaker winning Best Picture, the rapid rise of Rob Marshall actually begins with the musical “Cats.” Not the movie “Cats,” the old Broadway musical, “Cats.”
Back then, Marshall was dancer, but he was forced to pivot to choreography after an injury during the production. Turns out Rob was pretty good at choreography, and was known as one of the best on Broadway during the 90s, earning several Tony nominations, including his direction and choreography for a revival of “Cabaret.”
I don’t know if anybody called Marshall the next Bob Fosse at the time, but consciously or not, Marshall was following the same career path as the late legendary Broadway choreographer, and later film director.
Around this same time, the legendary producing duo of Meron/Zadan starting coming up producing movies and television, with a specific passion for bringing back the musical. In 1993, they produced an adaption of Gypsy, and based off of that, Whitney Houston approached the duo about about remaking Cinderella as a TV musical.
Disney eventually picked the project up, and the Brandy-starring Cinderella musical adaption, ended up relaunching “The Wonderful World of Disney,” on ABC. The program, directed by longtime musical choreographer and TV director Robert Iscove, got an insane number of viewers: 60 million people, or 31% of all TVs in the United States at the time.
Off of this success, Iscove started directing feature films, having quite a hit with “She’s All That.” Unfortunately, he followed that up with a much less successful Freddie Prinze Jr. film, “Boys and Girls.” Somehow it got even worse for him, as he followed that up with “Firestarter 2,” which went direct to video, and the infamous bomb in all senses of the word, “From Justin to Kelly.” Iscove currently directs Hallmark movies….
But of course, Disney wanted to follow up the success of “Cinderella,” so they commissioned Meron/Zadan to make another musical. They chose “Annie,” specifically the musical the not so great 1982 film, was also based on.
To direct this new film, since Iscove had gone onto bigger things, they brought on “Cinderella” choreographer, Rob Marshall. “Annie” got less than half the viewers “Cinderella” did, but still did pretty well with 26.3 million viewers, including me. I remember the film was then followed by one of the first episodes of the Regis Philbin “Who Wants to Be A Millionaire.”The film also won Rob Marshall’s first major award ever, an Emmy for Outstanding Choreography.
I think this adaption is successful, because it’s not exactly stunt-casted like a lot of later Meron/Zadan musicals would be, especially the horrid live ones. Instead, pretty much everybody casted, except for the children, are Broadway legends. You have Kathy Bates who has stage experience, as well as stage pros like Victor Garber, Audra McDonald, Alan Cumming and a young Kristin Chenoweth. Alicia Morton is also no slouch as the role of Annie, being so good her version of “Tomorrow” is the one that plays during Deadpool 2.
So with a cast and crew this Broadway-centric, it’s no wonder this film is as good as it is. I don’t think it’s amazing, because I don’t think the story of Little Orphan Annie is particularly amazing, but there’s some really classic songs in here, and they’re all brought to life well, by Marshall and company.
Based on the success of this TV movie, Meron/Zadan would work with Rob Marshall again, but not on “The Music Man” adaption, which was the 3rd TV musical they did for Disney, but rather the film that won them Best Picture, “Chicago.” It’s interesting to trace Disney’s now long-standing relationship with Marshall not to ‘Pirates 4’ in 2011, but “Cinderella” and “Annie” in the 1990s.
It doesn’t really justify why he gets handed the job to direct the long-coveted “Mary Poppins” sequel and “The Little Mermaid” remake, but it makes more sense now from a loyalty perspective. Rob Marshall has been a company man for Disney for a large portion of his career.
3/5 Stars
⭐️⭐️⭐️
#2:
My full review of “The Little Mermaid” will come tomorrow, but for now I’ll say I think it’s a good movie, and by default one of Marshall’s best.
3/5 Stars
⭐️⭐️⭐️
#1:
Previously on my review of Rob Marshall’s first film, “Annie...”
Rob Marshall started off as a dancer for “Cats,” then got injured and moved into choreography, and eventually Broadway directing. He worked with producers Meron/Zadan, who sought to revive the genre of musicals, first as a choreographer for the Whitney Houston “Cinderella,” which relaunched Wonderful World of Disney, and had some 60 million viewers, then as a director for their follow-up musical, “Annie,” which was half as popular, but still pretty well-liked, and Marshall won an Emmy for it.
Enter respected British theater director, Nicolas Hytner, who is most known for theater, but had also started dabbling in films, making Daniel Day Lewis’ “The Crucible,” among others. He starts developing “Chicago” in 1998 with Madonna and Goldie Hawn, then Charlize Theron.
But then after 15 months, the project gets dropped, and Hytner swears off films for the time being. He later becomes the prestigious artistic director of the London Nation Theater.
Enter Meron/Zedon, who as producers of this potential “Chicago” movie, select Rob Marshall, who they had just had a great relationship with on “Annie” to step in, and basically start the project over from scratch.
This is therefore technically Rob Marshall’s feature film debut, and it not only wins Best Picture, but he gets nominated for Best Director. He’s basically made a career trying to repeat that success, ever since.
For his part, this is a perfect match of material and director. “Chicago” was originally conceived by Bob Fosse, who is a huge influence on Marshall. Rob not only modeled his career path on Fosse, but he even directed a revival of “Cabaret” in the 1990s. And that’s what this feels like, “Cabaret.” Rob Marshall tackling another Fosse project.
The musical numbers may not be 100% connected to the story, but it’s a fun mode of entertainment, exposition, and delivery for scenes anyways. It also isn’t nearly as serious as “Cabaret,” but it still has something to say, being a satire of celebrity culture, and how that even applies to criminals.
In fact, when Fosse originally did the musical in the 1970s, it was a massive flop on Broadway. People simply weren’t ready for outright criminals having such a gay old time. But in the 1990s, in a post-OJ world, the themes of this musical were now all too relevant, and it was a smashing hit as a revival.
In fact, that revived version of the musical is still running on Broadway today, and the owners have no intention of closing it down. Now that “Phantom of the Opera” has finally closed, “Chicago” will be able to catch it as the longest-running musical in about… 8 years?
This also happens to be the best material Marshall has ever worked with, not being super memorable or catchy, but certainly quite toe-tappy in the moment. It also has a lot of stars that are well-suited to this material, even though they’re not stage veterans. This is probably the last great Richard Gere performance. This is the most I’ve liked Zeta-Jones in a movie, and one of the more natural Zellweger performances.
Should it have won Best Picture? No, but then again, it probably prevented Roman Polanski’s “The Pianist” from winning, even though ‘Two Towers’ is the best film of those nominated, but The Academy were waiting to award that franchise the next year. So in context, and after seeing the film, this is actually a lot more defensible win than I would have thought. It’s fun! And Rob Marshall never made anything as fun as this ever again.
4/5 Stars
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
An Inductee into “The Five-Star Club”
Currently Ranked:
#29/#95 in “Best Picture, Ranked”
